A Takers Prequel Is In The Works
Were you one of those people out there, dropping money at the box office to make TAKERS the #1 movie in America? Then the blame for this falls squarely on your shoulders. Because of you, Screen Gems thinks they made a movie that people think is good… and now they want to make another one. But to make matters worse, it’s not a sequel that’s in the cards for TAKERS. It’s a prequel.
Come on… all together now…
Fuckin’-A.
In an interview with BET, T.I. spoke about what the plans are for TAKERS. “I’m a step ahead of you — I just got off the phone with the director, writer, the head of Screen Gems and the label heads over at Sony. We are working not a sequel, but a prequel to tell the back story of the characters.” Then he gave big-ups to Atlanta, New York, Mount Pleasant, Michigan, Dallas, D.C., Philadelphia, Miami, Houston, Chicago, and Detroit.
Is it still big-ups? Or are we back to shout-outs? Damn… I need to keep up on my street lingo, so I don’t get left behind… or shanked. We’re still doing “shanked,” right?
Do we really need another movie to tell the origins of everyone in it though? I can do that right now, and it’ll be much quicker than 2 hours.
Here we go…
- Matt Dillon – Hasn’t made a good movie since… since… Wow, has it really been that long? (I’ll give him CRASH in 2005, because otherwise, it goes all the way back to WILD THINGS, which was ’98, officially making me old)
- Paul Walker – He’s fast… he’s furious… and he still can’t act. Enough said.
- Idris Elba – Wasn’t he in THE LOSERS? And didn’t he almost cheat on Beyonce with Ali Larter? WTF?!
- Jay Hernandez – HOSTEL = cool, FINAL DESTINATION 5 (or 5NAL DESTINATION) = not cool.
- Michael Ealy – Who…? No, seriously… who is that guy?
- T.I. – When did he even get out of jail? Big fan of “Swagga Like Us,” “Live Your Life,” and “Dead and Gone” though.
- Chris Brown – Do I even need to say it?
- Hayden Christensen – Thanks for making Darth Vader into a whiny bitch, dude.
There you have it. TAKERS: THE PREQUEL. I just saved you 10 bucks. You’re welcome.
Now don’t go see something else that sucks, and make me have to do that again.
