Are You Ready To Poke The Facebook Movie?
So far this year, we’ve seen movies in development based on food and board games. So where will it end? How far can we possibly go, before we just collectively slap our foreheads and exclaim, “Okay… we’ve had enough”? How about a Facebook movie? **slap** That’s what I thought.
Yes, a screenplay is out there that will poke you in the theatre, where you can be met my friend requests from your other fellow movie-goers who will be sure to plague you with request to fight vampires and zombies with them, to join their 
mafias, and help them save trees, all while tossing pieces of flair your way and sending you quiz after quiz after quiz after quiz. Did I forget anything?
Aaron Sorkin, who built a career writing “A Few Good Men,” “The West Wing,” and “The American President,” had Columbia Pictures pick up his script that follows the progression of the social networking site from something only people at certain colleges could get on to something people’s parents can now access making it far less cool than it ever was. According to Sorkin’s own Facebook page, the story will be set in college, and be centered around Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook founder. as he builds Facebook from a start-up to what it is now, and essentially based on the upcoming book The Accidental Billionaires. With that said, director David Fincher has his eyes possibly on the project, which would be an interesting hire, considering his wide range of films from “The Game” to “Seven” to “Benjamin Button” to “Fight Club.” After all, the first rule of 
Facebook is you do not give out your password. But the second rule is you do not talk about Facebook. And the third rule… well, you get the point.
It might be interesting to see the development of Faecbook, since it is clearly taking over the world. It would have been a shame if there was a MySpace movie in the pipeline, because that wouldn’t have been dated at all. Plus, who wants to see a movie that takes forever to load, because it is plagued with glittery icons and pictures and all the other shit that ruined that site, namely Fox? I’ll be holding out for the Twitter movie though at this point. After all, how long can it be? 140 minutes? With 140 characters, who are only allowed to speak 140 lines of dialogue? You see where I’m going here. Where’s my agent when I really need him? Wait… do I even have an agent? I didn’t think so. Damn. I knew I was forgetting something.
James Cameron is a prick… actually he’s very awesome considering the time and effort he puts into each new project in the hopes of telling a great story and delivering something ground-breaking that we’ve never seen before. So, in that 
sense, he’s a bit of a prick, because it’s not fair for that guy to be so fuckin’ good, which is probably how people feel when they think about me, so I guess it all evens out. Anyway, Cameron presented 24 minutes of footage from his upcoming and long-awaited movie “Avatar” that will finally hit theatres later this year. And the impressions that are leaking out from the CineExpo in Amsterdam where the footage was revealed lead you to believe that this will be something fuckin’ amazing we’re in store for. Unique Cinema Systems hit up their Twitter account and tweeted, “Footage from ‘Avatar’ at #cinexpo was stunning, literally jawdropping. Amazing visuals unlike any before seen, with incredible detail.” Now this is something to get excited about, because if it lives up to the hype, and there’s no reason to believe it won’t, considering at the time, James Cameron poured a record-amount of money into building a replica of the Titanic just so it would look authentic and accurate when it sunk it, this will be the movie to see in 2009, not some stupidity with robots in disguise, but we’ll get to that later.
20th Century Fox has hired writer Kyle Ward to put the pen to the paper in coming up with a sequel for “Hitman.” I thought that in order to be considered for sequel treatment, people actually had to have seen the first movie… that is, 
more than the families of the people who made it. I stand corrected. Apparently I was wrong. Good luck with that one. I’m sure I won’t notice when this one comes out, much like I didn’t when the first one hit theatres. I wonder how much the first one even made to justify having a follow-up. 50… 60 bucks… tops.
Zac Efron has signed on to star in another movie, this one with no name, no director, and no other cast. The writer of “Hairspray” will be putting down the script, so, if that’s not enough to get you excited enough to camp out for its midnight release, I don’t know what is, people.
Katherine Heigl found a movie that finds her as important as she thinks she is, signing on for the starring role in “Life As We Know It.” I guess that makes sense, since she is one of the producers, but I really get the feeling even her own ego is sick of her. The film will tell a tale of two single people who suddenly become guardians to an orphaned girl after her parents are killed. Sounds like a real tear-jerker, right along the lines of that episode of “Grey’s Anatomy” where Izzy… I mean, look at the tits on her, and pass me another beer, and something with fried cheese on it, as I scratch my balls… my big hairy balls. Isn’t there some football on or something? Hey, do you remember when Katherine Heigl first started out with “My Father The Hero”? Me neither… ummm… where’s my porn?
Megan Fox is awesome. We already know that. However, did you know that she’s quite the geek, too, which when combined with her ridiculous hotness can be a lethal combination? In promoting “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” Fox sat down for an interview with Collider. And on top of her feeling bad for that poor bastard with the rose that got snubbed and ignored, because she didn’t see him, 
she was asked about Comic-Con, to which she revealed that she loved the event. She was then asked if she got to walk around on the convention floor. She responded, “I don’t know if I’ll get to this time without security, and that’s embarrassing. I don’t want to walk everywhere with security. I don’t even need it. But they’re so fearful that I need it, they give it to me. I would love to go to the Top Cow booth, and go find a t-shirt or two. But I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that.” Megan Fox, trust The Kidd here… you need whatever security they want to give you, plus the marines, and maybe some Green Berets… oh, and nuclear weapons… if you want to walk around on the floor of a comic book convention, because, if those nerds get one sniff of you making your way around by yourself, you’ll never make it out alive, or at least not without having been rubbed on by like 859 nerd boners, so I don’t really know which fate is worse: the death or the wangs. I personally think I’d rather die. However, even further, Collider proposed that she might want to wear a costume since some famous actors have talked about planning a disguise, like a stormtrooper outfit, so they could walk around by themselves, and her reply was, “My initial thought was Princess Leia Slave. That would be like the opposite of what I want to do as far as needing security, I guess.” Megan Fox… dressed as slave Princess Leia… in the gold bikini… What’s that sound, you ask? Well, it definitely wasn’t me jizzing my pants. It must be the phone or something… excuse me, while I go and answer that. Can someone get me a washcloth while they’re at it please…? Ummm… this phone is dirty. Oh, and keep the tissues and lotion coming all day long. And just to make you all hate me, this wouldn’t be the first time The Kidd has gotten involved with someone wearing the gold bikini Leia outfit. Been there, done that…. and it was awesome.
Speaking of the man-child with the rose, Kodak is offering up a reward of $5000 to the first person who can provide verifiable information that enables Kodak to 
let this kid finally deliver his rose to Megan Fox. Kodak will cover travel costs for this dude and his family to be able to meet Megan Fox and give her his token of love. “It’s amazing how just a photograph can connect and change the lives of two complete strangers,” said Leslie Dance, Vice President of Kodak’s Worldwide Brand Marketing & Communications. “If this photo is any indication, this boy was really hoping to meet Megan Fox and give her that rose, and we’d love to help make his fantastical wish come true.”
So, you’re telling me that if you have a picture of a failed attempt to give a celebrity a gift… let’s just use my boxers, as an example here… Kodak will offer up a reward to try to make your stalking show of appreciation into a reality, where you can be within 100 yards without police presentation and/or court supervision…? Quick, someone fuel up my car, grab a map, and charge up the digital camera… we’ve got some disappointment to capture. I know just the dressing rooms and bedroom windows to visit… I mean, we’ve got some people we absolutely must try delivering gifts from the heart to. I sure hope that brown paint makes my ride look just like a UPS truck, so we can get close enough, too.
Thanks for all the support you’ve been sending me over at Celebrity Smack!, where I’ve been guest blogging all week. The response has been great, and I can only hope it leads to an increased following over here back at our own site. For those of you who haven’t gotten to it yet, “The Kidd Vs. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” is up, so you can get my thoughts on the movie. I made sure to get that review up to help guide you in your decision-making process for the weekend. Look… I am aware a lot of you are going to run right out and see it. And you might want to avoid my take on it, so you don’t get hit with spoilers. However, let me at least give it to you straight right here. I hate to say it to those of you who have such high hopes and great expectations for the movie, but it’s just not very good… not at all, and it certainly is nowhere close to being as entertaining as the first one. So go ahead and check that out when you get a chance. I am very curious who agrees and disagrees with me on what I thought could be one of the more exciting movies of the year, but wound up being one of the more disappointing.
Until tomorrow…
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