Author Archive for Mascott
DC Comics Announces Watchmen Prequel Series; Die-Hard Fans Prepare To Begin Rearmament
WATCHMEN wasn’t a perfect movie. I’ll be the first to admit that. When I went to see it in the theatre, maybe I was blinded by the sheer adrenaline rush at the fact that I had somehow managed to sneak into an R-rated movie at 16. Many would argue, however, that the graphic novel the [...]
Remembering the Dead – Season 2, Episode Seven – “Pretty Much Dead Already”
I GOT IT THIS TIME GUYS. SUNDAY. NINE. WALKING DEAD. I am on time, I have everything ready – I am going to do this right from now on. What’s that? Mid-season finale? Goddamnit, guys. I was… I did so…. *sigh* Well…we’ve got a lot to talk about here any only so much internet to go around, [...]
Remembering the Dead – Season 2, Episode Six – “Secrets”
Oh man, do I have egg on my face here. I almost missed THE WALKING DEAD because I was designing the jacket art to my soon-to-be bestselling hardcover novel, “Hardcovers Are Pretentious.” Anyway, here we go again with another installment of REMEMBERING THE DEAD. The first thing you see in this episode is Carl in [...]
Remembering the Dead – Season 2, Episode Five – “Chupacabra”
You know, I don’t have a funny excuse for almost missing this week’s WALKING DEAD, a show I watch so I can write this weekly recap column on it, Remembering the Dead. I don’t have a funny excuse because I was…well… Okay, so, right. Zombie show. Watchin’ it. The show opens with another flashback, this [...]
Remembering the Dead – Season 2, Episode Four – “Cherokee Rose”
Aw, man. Sunday at nine. Gotta get used to this quicker! I was so occupied recording Noel Gallagher’s new solo album, “I Am Going To Stab My Brother Eighty-Nine Times With a Ballpoint-Fucking-Pen,” that I had completely forgotten about my weekly WALKING DEAD recap column, Remembering the Dead. Well now that I’ve remembered, let’s get on [...]
Remembering the Dead – Season 2, Episode Three – “Save the Last One”
Okay. Sunday night. 9 PM. I’ll get the hang of this eventually, despite being engaged seven hours each day doing voice over work for Rockstar’s “Grand Theft Auto 5.” (I’m playing “The Auto.”) Anyway, here we’ve got the third installment of “Remembering the Dead,” our weekly recap of AMC’s THE WALKING DEAD. Did anyone else [...]
Remembering the Dead – Season 2, Episode Two – “Bloodletting”
Oh boy, wow, is it Sunday at nine again already? I’d just had such a full plate acting in Wes Anderson’s new low-key romantic comedy, “Pictures of Under Appreciated Paintings in Nice Frames,” (I play a frame opposite Luke Wilson,) that I’d almost missed this week’s episode of THE WALKING DEAD. Thankfully, I did not, and we’re [...]
Remembering the Dead – Season 2, Episode One – “What Lies Ahead”
Oh, hey, wow, is it that time already? Sunday at nine? I’d been so busy writing the screenplay for my tomato soup-based semi-erotic biographical epic, “Lusting for the Vine,” that I had completely forgotten about telling you all about my new column series, “Remembering the Dead: An Infamous Recap of The Walking Dead.” Every [...]
Mascott’s Movie Rewind – Saw
In Which Our Hero informs you that your aim in this game is to watch as he Rewinds 2004′s SAW, and to eat this KFC Double Down. How many calories are you willing to consume to stay alive?
Mascott’s Movie Rewind – The Blair Witch Project
In Which Our Hero disappeared in the woods near Bakersville, Maryland while writing a weekly column. A year later, his Rewind of 1999′s THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT was found stuffed in a half-eaten bag of Funyuns.
Mascott’s Movie Rewind – Jackass: The Movie
In Which Our Hero declares that he’s Mascott, and this is the Rewind of 2002′s JACKASS:THE MOVIE.
Mascott Hits Up New York Comic Con 2010 – The Movies, TV and Comics
In Which Our Hero leaves behind his sheltered New Jersey lifestyle to travel to the big city of New York for one of the few half-decent East Coast cons, New York Comic Con.
Mascott’s Movie Rewind – Evil Dead II
In Which Our Hero goes against his better judgement and reads a few pages from the Necronomicon in this week’s Rewind of 1987′s EVIL DEAD II.
Mascott’s Movie Rewind – Showgirls
In Which Our Hero Unabashedly Watches an X-Rated Movie and Tells you AAAAAALLLLL About it in this Week’s Rewind of 1995′s SHOWGIRLS.
Mascott’s Movie Rewind – Wall Street
In Which Our Hero Decides That What’s Worth Doing is Worth Doing for Money, Then Remembers that He Works for Free – All While Watching 1987′s WALL STREET.
Mascott’s Movie Rewind – The Cable Guy
In Which Our Hero can visit the Louvre on one channel, and watch female mud wrestling on another. He can do his shopping at home, or play Mortal Kombat with a friend in Vietnam! There’s no end to the possibilities when Mascott rewinds 1996′s THE CABLE GUY!
Mascott’s Movie Rewind – Days Of Thunder
In Which Our Hero feels the need for speed as he watches the 1990 Tom Cruise racing….vehicle, DAYS OF THUNDER.
Mascott’s Movie Rewind – Predator
In Which Our Hero fights a Rastafarian alien and gives you the tools to become a sexual Tyrannosaurus – just like him. All in this week’s Rewind of 1987′s PREDATOR.
Mascott’s Movie Rewind – Back to the Future
In Which Our Hero Goes Where He Doesn’t Need Roads, and Rewinds Back to the Future.
Mascott’s Movie Rewind – National Lampoon’s Vacation
In Which Our Hero Drives Off on a Two Thousand Miles Pilgrimage to Worship a Moose. Praise Marty Moose!
Mascott’s Movie Rewind – Heat
In Which Our Hero covers his ears and throws caution to the wind to watch the 1995 action crime thriller
Mascott’s Movie Rewind – True Lies
In which our hero wades through the cesspool of mid-90s cinema/Tom Arnold movies to find a funny and action packed gem to call his very own.
