Box Office Numbers Like This Make Me Nauseous

June 13, 2010 | by The Infamous Billy The Kidd |

Typically the past weekend’s box office results are reviewed and analyzed a lot sooner in the day than this… and I wish that I had a better excuse for why they’re coming up so late, but I don’t. I wasn’t doing anything special, and I wasn’t tied up with anything of any significance. Quite simply, I wasn’t ready to acknowledge the fact that America went out and made THE KARATE KID remake the #1 movie in the country.

Ugh… I think I’m going to be sick.

Don’t mistake this write-up for The Kidd coming to terms with what’s happened, because I haven’t. I’m still in as much denial now as I was when the numbers came across. Perhaps there was a clerical error. Maybe this is something worth checking into as far as recounts are concerned, because, as dumb as the public has proven to be time and time again, I was at least willing to give them some credit for not being that far gone. Unfortunately, that makes me stupid as well, because there are a lot more idiots than I originally thought.

Ugh… Ralph Macchio would be turning in his grave… if he was there and not alive and perfectly healthy. But I’m sure Pat Morita’s bones are having a good cry… so live with that.

THE KARATE KID was #1 at the box office this weekend, somehow pulling in $56 million. Really…? REALLY…? Son of a…!!!

Last week my head predicted it was going to happen, too, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. In fact, me being right actually adds to my feelings of all sorts of awfulness. So, in order to spare me from feeling worse, all you need to know is that $56 million that should have gone to buying or renting DVD/Blu-ray copies of the 1984 original instead went to this remake, creating delusions that Will Smith’s kid is now some sort of bankable star. Moving on…

The big disappointment of the week has to be the lackluster opening at #2 for THE A-TEAM, which only managed $26 million. For a big-budget summer action movie based on a well-known TV property, that number is pretty weak sauce. I really enjoyed the flick, and think that anyone who took the time to go see it would have had a lot of fun, but it didn’t quite work out that way. I pity the fools who didn’t check out THE A-TEAM, just like I pity the fools who chose to see THE KARATE KID. And now I have to also pity the fools who were a part of THE A-TEAM movie, because their shot at a sequel is probably gone.

SHREK FOREVER AFTER finally fell from the top spot, but still was able to find $15.8 million to add to its overall tally of $210 million, making it only the second film of the year so far to top the $100 million threshold (along with IRON MAN 2), while both coincidentally also being the only two movies to exceed $200 million).

The rest of the top 10 saw significant audience reductions from the week before, with no film able to limit that damage to less than a 40% drop-off, as the mediocre summer of 2010 rolls along.

We should see a strong new opener next weekend though, as TOY STORY 3 hits theatres in 3-D and IMAX, which should help this installment in the series do some serious damage at the box office, wiping out its family competition of SHREK and THE KARATE KID. A new #1 under the Disney/Pixar brand is more than just likely… it’s expected. The other new release on the 18th is JONAH HEX, which could surprise more than you’d think… but looking at the track record of other films this summer season, the Warner Bros. comic title shouldn’t expect anything better than a 3rd place opening… and that’s in a best case scenario.

Here’s this past weekend’s full top 10: