George Lucas Is Trying To Use His Jedi Mind Tricks On You To Revise Star Wars History
I don’t even want to get into what a mistake I think it is for anyone who considers themselves a STAR WARS fan to go see EPISODE I – THE PHANTOM MENACE in 3-D this weekend. If you’re honestly and truly a fan of the prequels, more power to you. That’s your prerogative. I can’t really argue with that. However, if you’re going to support the STAR WARS brand or if you feel you must, because it’s STAR WARS, you really don’t have to. George Lucas is going to be just fine without your 14 bucks. Just remember that the entire saga is available on Blu-ray now, so you can sit at home for free (or for the 90 bucks you already dropped on the whole set) and feel the same disappointment you’d get venturing out into the theatre to see it materialize in an added dimension. Damn… I just did what I said I wasn’t going to do anyway, didn’t I?
Well, with that out of the way, let’s move onto George Lucas’ continued revisionist history of the STAR WARS saga. Look… I’ve come to terms with the fact that Lucas can’t leave well enough alone, refusing to stop touching STAR WARS for five seconds to let anyone enjoy any part of it. If it wasn’t the Special Editions, then it was the Ultimate Editions or whatever the hell he wants to call them, with the Ewok Village ended shelved in favor of a more galactic celebration of the Empire’s fall and Hayden Christensen’s boring face replacing Sebastian Shaw as a Jedi spirit, once again at the end of RETURN OF THE JEDI. Then he felt compelled to touch them again for the Blu-rays, adding in another Darth Vader “Nooooooo!!!” because the first one clearly wasn’t damaging enough, we needed to come full circle. But the biggest grievance of them all is easily the Han Solo/Greedo shooting sequence that George continues to try to alter, even though history is not on his side at all.
The record, which cannot possibly be disputed, as long as physical evidence of the untouched original STAR WARS trilogy exists, is that Han Solo shoots and kills Greedo, after the bounty hunter brags that he has Solo dead to rights and is going to enjoy killing him. Rather than give Greedo the chance, he acts first, eliminating any further threat; hence, Han shot first. In the Special Edition of EPISODE IV – A NEW HOPE, Lucas decided to change the whole dynamic of the scene, having Greedo fire first, missing at point blank range, high and to the right of his target, making him probably the worst bounty hunter ever in the history of the galaxy, and then Han Solo fires in self-defense, having nearly been murdered, taking Greedo out as he should have seconds ago.
No true STAR WARS fans accept the chain of events as Lucas tried to revise them, because it’s a ludicrous change to make. There is no reason why Han Solo should or would sit there and give Greedo the chance to carry out the very task that he’s already told Han he’s going to do. Would you sit there calmly and let someone shoot you in the face after they’ve already told you they’re going to do it? Of course not. In the end, you still may end up shot in the face, but at least you’d go down swinging. However, George Lucas is now trying to convince you that you’ve been wrong the whole time in thinking Han ever shot first, despite the fact that the movies state differently. After all, who are you going to believe: George Lucas or your own lying eyes?
In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Lucas talks extensively about the controversy that follows some of the changes that’ve been made over the years, particularly the Han/Greedo situation. “The controversy over who shot first, Greedo or Han Solo, in Episode IV, what I did was try to clean up the confusion, but obviously it upset people because they wanted Solo [who seemed to be the one who shot first in the original] to be a cold-blooded killer, but he actually isn’t. It had been done in all close-ups and it was confusing about who did what to whom. I put a little wider shot in there that made it clear that Greedo is the one who shot first, but everyone wanted to think that Han shot first, because they wanted to think that he actually just gunned him down.”
Seriously, George Lucas… just because you say it enough times does not make it true. Just because you want to bludgeon with your own version of the facts doesn’t mean we’ll let it seep into brains and come to terms with it due to repetition. I’m not an idiot, and you’re not Fox News. I know what’s true, and so do you. You may want to change it after the fact, but at least have the decency to admit to that. I may not agree with you, but at least I’d respect you more for your honesty rather than your insistence to lie, lie and lie some more, as if you’re not the problem, I am.
But what should I expect from a man who in the same breath says STAR WARS is “not a religious event… It’s a movie, just a movie.” Really…? And I’m not talking about people who believe in the actual Force. However, there’s been this worship of any and all things STAR WARS fostered, directly by you, Mr. Lucas, over the years to continue lining your pockets with our dollars stemming from our love of the material. It’s not a religion…? Then why even have STAR WARS Weekends at Walt Disney World annually? What’s the point of celebrating such fandom with your endorsement if the whole thing is “just a movie”? What is the purpose of STAR WARS Celebrations encouraging fans from all over the world to come together and revel in their love for STAR WARS? Who needs something so massive for “just a movie”? Your disingenuous tone is what bothers me the most, George. After years of sending around the collection plate to all us STAR WARS fans, in exchange for VHS tapes, books, DVDs, action figures, posters, movie releases and re-releases, etc., you’re now basically shooting a big middle finger our way to say we have no right to any claims of ownership over something we’ve been encouraged to embrace fanatically for so long, because they’re your movies, and you’ll do whatever the hell you want with them, regardless of how we feel. After all those years of our support, you’re saying we’re the problem.
Well, I’ve got a full THX-remastered box set of the original trilogy on VHS that says you’re the problem, sir… I only wish we would have had the balls to shoot first like Han years ago (figuratively, not literally, of course), eliminating the threat of our STAR WARS movies being tweaked to the point of ruin at times, rather than waiting for you to attack us with all this shit before we fired off our best shots.
