Is Kim Kardashian Really Going To Raid Tombs?
These days anyone can claim to be a Hollywood insider. It could be an actor’s sister, an actress’ mom, someone’s crazy uncle, and even the star themselves trying to leak out information whenever and wherever possible to get people talking or thinking about their client/family member for a particular role in a particular project. This is probably one of those cases.
Some site called ShowBizSpy is reporting that Kim Kardashian is currently in negotiations to take over the role of Lara Croft in a TOMB RAIDER reboot that would make the video game heroine younger and apparently devoid of any acting talent whatsoever. There’s no word on what her ass’ asking price is at this point.
Their source claims, “Kim is wanted to play a far more comic-strip version of Lara which would be shot in 3-D and aimed at a teen audience.” They also expect you to believe that “Kim has been attending acting classes for some time… She gets scripts sent to her all the time, but unlike so many other famous people she doesn’t just want to make a film without first learning the craft.”
Okay… there is so much bullshit to call in this story, I don’t even know where to begin.
First off, Kim Kardashian… as Lara Croft…? Really…?
And secondly…
KIM KARDASHIAN… AS LARA CROFT…?! REALLY?!
The last time anyone saw Kim Kardashian in a movie with a substantial enough role, she had Ray J’s dick in her mouth, so I’d hardly consider her qualified enough to carry such a lucrative franchise, acting lessons or not. While the second film absolutely bombed, opening in fourth place and debuting with only $21.7 million on the way to a $65.6 million run domestically, the original LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER brought in $131 million in the United States ($274.7 worldwide), so it’s not as if there is a lack of audience for a quality TOMB RAIDER movie. And, when I think quality TOMB RAIDER, Kim Kardashian is far from the top of the list that comes to mind.
The fans would go absolutely apeshit, and not in a good way, if their beloved Lara Croft was put in the hands of Kim Kardashian. Plus, logistically, I have no idea how her ass would fit into any of her khaki shorts. There’s no way… just no way. The laws of physics don’t work like that. But seriously, the TOMB RAIDER series has brought in a ton of money across films, video games, comic books, novels, etc. To start anew without the support of the Lara Croft fans, who would feel as if the heroine was being absolutely disgraced and insulted, is suicide. If you don’t have the fans, you’ve got nothing… and, while The Kidd would agree that a new direction might be needed after Angelina Jolie’s last turn underperformed in a big way, that new direction doesn’t involve Kim Kardashian.
I’m not sure a reboot is necessary now when the last TOMB RAIDER happened only seven years ago, but the reboots after a failure are coming with the quickness these days, so I’m not all that surprised. But if that many teens didn’t come out for the first two movies before, what makes anyone think they’re coming out now.
On the bright side though, I guess it could be worse. They could have been looking at Snooki.
If you could start the TOMB RAIDER movies anew, who would you cast in the Lara Croft role?
