Kick-Ass 2 Plans To Go Balls To The Wall
The Kidd was a huge fan of “Kick-Ass.” It was smart, it was funny, and it was different. Add the three of those elements together, and you wind up with one 
seriously kick-ass movie… literally. The disappointment of “Kick-Ass” comes from the fact that a great deal of people chose not to see it. There are a few reasons that might possibly begin to explain its fairly weak opening weekend of $19.8 million and its haul of $42.2 million domestically. The R rating could do it. The fact that it’s a fairly violent movie. The superhero package might have turned some people off, particularly for a fairly violent R-rated flick. The name might have been an issue for others. There were some theatres around the country that wouldn’t even fully display the title, instead labeling it as “Kick-A**” on the marquee, something that clearly doesn’t sell tickets. Damn, I wouldn’t even know how to order those tickets at the box office. “Yeah, can I get two tickets for ‘Kick-A-Double Asterisks’ or is that ‘Kick-A-Two Stars’? Seriously, what’s the name of that movie…? Ah, fuck it… just give me two for “The Bounty Hunter.’ I may hate myself for this later, but at least I can say the title.” Posters were censored as well in various markets of the country. How many people were really getting excited after checking out the one sheet for the movie “Kick-A#s”? What the fuck does that even say?! Of course, then you look at the other end of the spectrum, where the dreadful “A Nightmare on Elm Street” rings the cash register to the tune of a $32.2 million opening, and it makes you wonder if the general public is opposed to seeing good quality motion pictures. Have they become conditioned to see only pure shit? Hmmm… that’s an interesting theory, and one that’ll get put to the test when “Kick-Ass 2″ comes 
along. Yep, it’s coming, and it’s going to be balls to the wall. No, really… that’s the title – “Kick-Ass 2: Balls To The Wall.”
In a press release announcing “CLiNT Magazine,” a new monthly magazine partnering “Kick-Ass” creator Mark Millar and Titan Magazines, the news was dropped that Millar would be kicking off the sequel in the first issue. The 100-page magazine “will be packed with interviews and features from movies, games and television as ell as four serialized comic-strips.” So part of the selling point for the new publication will be that you can get your first look as to where the “Kick-Ass” story is headed, with a Kick-Ass/Hit Girl team likely in the works to fight off a more experienced Red Mist among other potential homemade villains. The press release also states that “Kick-Ass 2: Balls To The Wall” has been scheduled to go into production in 2011 for a 2012 release. No word about such an arrangement has been confirmed by Lionsgate thus far, and you’ve got to wonder, if it is, how much money they’ll be willing to pour into a sequel, considering the underwhelming performance of the first movie theatrically. Once the DVD release comes around, they may gain a fresh perspective, but with the incredible amount of marketing they rolled out there 
for this movie, The Kidd has to wonder if they can understand what went wrong. Clearly, they felt like they had a tremendous film on their hands, and they did. So, why didn’t massive amounts of people come out to see it? It is refreshing to see that they are willing to take another run at this and see if “Kick-Ass 2″ can do better. I really hope that people who missed this one in theatres take a good look at it once it hits DVD and Blu-ray, because it really is an awesome movie, and if you haven’t seen it, well, you’re certainly not punishing me. You’re only hurting yourself. By the way, “Kick-Ass” is still out for your viewing consumption, so, once you see the other big superhero extravaganza coming out this weekend, turn your attention towards this one.
One of the big questions though regarding any “Kick-Ass” sequel is “Will Matthew Vaughn be back to direct?” And the obvious answer to that right now is “I have no fuckin’ idea,” especially with Vaughn now officially the director on “X-Men: First Class,” which will begin shooting sometime this summer for a targeted release date of June 3, 2011. Wow… Fox really wants to rush this one through, 
don’t they? In a 20th Century Fox press release, producer Bryan Singer delivered a ringing endorsement of Vaughn, saying, “I’ve been a fan of Matthew’s since ‘Layer Cake.’ He has a deft hand with multiple characters and storylines, and a great love of the X-Men universe. I feel the combination of this story and his vision will make for an exciting and original X-Men film.” Well, it can’t be any worse than “Wolverine,” can it? For an intents and purposes, the script is ready to go, with word of casting already underway, as The Hollywood Reporter reports that Singer has been keeping a watchful eye on anyone who might be able to play a mutant while doing his own casting for “Jack the Giant Killer.” The date for “First Class” would inevitably tie Vaughn up until mid-summer of next year, between finalizing his cut of the film and promotion. Therefore, any movement on “Kick-Ass 2″ would have to be put on hold until late in the summer next year at the earliest if Vaughn is to be involved. Lionsgate could always elect to look for a different filmmaker to carry out sequel plans, but that might do damage to the credibility of such a movie in the fans of the original who embraced Vaughn’s vision. But this is also going to rest on how badly Vaughn might want to do “Kick-Ass 2,” as signing on for it would make three superhero movies in a row for the guy, and I’ve got to believe that’s not exactly the course he wants his career to go in, as the maker of solely comic book flicks. As for “First Class,” there’s some optimism on The Kidd’s part with Bryan Singer in on making this happen. However, Fox rushing this thing into production as soon as possible brings back memories of “X-Men: The Last Stand” and even “Spider-Man 4″ where the release date became more important than anything else… and those two instances didn’t turn out well at all.
Do you know what else didn’t turn out well…? “Live Free of Die Hard.” On top of the fact that the PG-13 rating sucked, eliminating multiple instances of violence and profanity and saving it for the “unrated” DVD version, it never quite felt 
like a “Die Hard” movie. In fact, neither did “Die Hard With A Vengeance.” At least that one was grounded in some sort of reality, as opposed to having John McClane drive cars into helicopters or dodge vehicles flying through the air at him. John McClane is a poor man’s Jack Bauer. He has the worst luck, and his life is filled with shitty days where he’s the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time. And somehow “With A Vengeance” fucked that up, by adding an unnecessary sidekick (Samuel L. Jackson), teaming Bruce Willis with a horrendous supporting cast, and giving him a fairly weak adversary (Jeremy Irons). “Live Free or Die Hard” fucked it up even worse by eliminating everything “Die Hard” about it, and turning it into what is widely regarded as another generic action movie that just happens to star Bruce Willis as a guy named John McClane. Two attempts at “Die Hard” sequels, two failures, and what The Kidd is left with is the knowledge that I haven’t seen a quality “Die Hard” in going on 20 years. Earlier this year, Bruce Willis addressed the possibility of making “Die Hard 5,” with John McClane ready to go make another one. Well, it looks like that was no bullshit, as 20th Century Fox is absolutely primed to add another installment to the highly profitable franchise. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Writer Skip Woods is in talks to pen the script for “Die Hard 5,” and, if you’ve combed through Skippy’s resume, you can see why that isn’t a good thing if you’re actually a fan of the “Die Hard” series. So far, Woods’ writing credits include “Hitman” and “X-Men Origins: Wolverine.” From that, we can only assume that Fox fully intends to have a guy who hasn’t written a good fuckin’ movie EVER take the lead on another “Die Hard.” Well, that sounds both promising and reassuring… about as promising and reassuring as 
having explosive diarrhea. Yay. On the plus side, he also wrote the screenplay for this summer’s adaptation of “The A-Team,” which makes me sad to see that one, because, before I even walk in the door, I have to hope it exceeds the expectations of sucking, given Woods’ track record. With any luck, Skip Woods pulled a miracle out of his ass, made an entertaining “A-Team” movie, and that will give him some momentum heading into “Die Hard 5″… but I wouldn’t lend a whole lot of confidence to that happening, so now we’re stuck with a potentially mediocre “A-Team” movie and a bad “Die Hard 5.” What else could we expect from a guy fuckin’ named Skip?
Lindsay Lohan is ready to do some porn, and I’m sure you’re already asking the inevitably obvious question – what took so long? It’s been awhile since Miss Lohan has made an appearance back here on the site, mainly because how many days can I possibly write about how she’s drunk or fucked-up or ruining her life 
or enabled by horrible parents or… well, you get the point. I’d have a LiLo story every single day. I’ve cut back significantly, since Lindsay’s given no response to my overtures to help her, but today is her lucky day. She’s back upon the announcement that she’ll do some porn. Okay, that’s a little misleading. You won’t be finding Lindsay anywhere on YouPorn, PornoTube, YouJizz, SlutLoad, or SpankWire… at least, not yet, I don’t think. Hold on… let me look. Hmmm… nope. You can’t find her anywhere on there or on any other porn sites across the internet. But you will soon find her tackling the role of 70s porn star Linda Lovelace in the film “Inferno.” Wow… not only has someone taken the risk of giving Lindsay another job, but they gave her the role of a porn star, where she may very well bare all…? Genius!!! “Inferno” producer Wali Razaqi told the Los Angeles Times, “We’ve all though that Lindsay would be a great choice for a while now, and we’re all convinced that she is going to do it. For at least a year, the director [Matthew Wilder] and I have gone back and forth imagining how awesome of a performance she could give if she was in the movie… I would say it’s probably one of the most challenging roles any actor could play – and not because of the sexual content, necessarily – but more because she was so battered and beat up emotionally, that I think it’s gonna take everything Lindsay has to really be able to pull it off. Not that 
Lindsay’s life is similar in any way – but she’s been through a lot of ups and downs. A lot of times you’re loved and then you’re hated, and I think she can relate to those emotions and feelings.” The Kidd has never questioned the amount of talent Lindsay Lohan has. She has proven to be an excellent actress when the material is there and when she gives a shit. But that’s the big concern – does she give a shit anymore? Because let’s face it… this is probably it for her. There is some serious potential for her to step into this role and fuckin’ own it, and be right back in the Hollywood game as an actress capable of turning out solid performances at every turn. However, there’s also the very real possibility that she won’t even show up for work on day one, because she’s too drunk. This could go either way. I respect the filmmakers’ optimism that Lindsay Lohan is going to be awesome in this. I think she could be, too. However, there’s a dark cloud of bad behavior that constantly follows her, which runs the risk of derailing this whole production. I hope she can do this, because she is more than capable. But I wouldn’t be surprised if this turns into a train wreck.
Finally, Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake are going to be “Friends With Benefits.” 
No, not in real life, but in a movie with the title that refers to people who have a sexual relationship without being involved. And, without even checking out the rather obvious plot of where this movie’s going, I thought to myself, “I would totally watch a movie where they fuck.” And you would, too, which is partly why this is such intelligent casting. Girls want to see Justin Timberlake naked and getting it on. Dudes want to see Mila Kunis naked and getting it on… granted, it’s preferably with ourselves, but if it means she might be nude, we’ll take what we can get. Plus, I’m sure there is a far share of dudes who want to see Justin Timberlake and chicks who want to see Mila Kunis, and… why am I starting to get visions of orgies breaking out all over the place in theatres showing “Friends with Benefits”? In any event, Variety reports that this is a done deal, with Will Gluck (“Fired Up!”) set to direct. There’s already like three or four different “Friends With Benefits”/”Fuckbuddies” projects in the works, but only one of them can lay claim to having Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake. This had better be an R-rated comedy right out of the gate, because anything less means that, in all likelihood, it sucks… and it has no balls, both literally and figuratively.
And just in time for those midnight screenings, The Kidd reviews “Iron Man 2.”
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Until tomorrow…
