Olivia Munn Does Playboy… With Clothes On
The Kidd doesn’t know what is happening with the world lately, but I certainly don’t like it. Over the weekend, the new issue of Playboy hit newsstands, complete with a pictorial of G4’s geeky hotness Olivia Munn. Now, normally I wouldn’t have a problem with this, and would definitely be looking forward to seeing what she has to show me. Unfortunately, this is not normally, because, in this instance, Olivia Munn is featured wearing clothes. That’s right… clothes in Playboy. Doesn’t the very thought of it just make you sick?
It’s almost as if Hef agreed to allow her to get as naked as possible without fully having to take off all of her clothes, leaving on a bra or some panties or a bikini or whatever. Even in the pictures where she is pretty close to being naked, it looks like they just went ahead and airbrushed off her nipples or her vagina to make sure they held true to not showing anything. What the fuck is this? 
Since when did Playboy turn into Maxim…? Probably right about the same time I went ahead and cancelled my subscription. Hello, operator…?
So, in the interest of saving you the $6.99 cover price, The Kidd is just going to let you know what you didn’t miss in this disgrace of a Playboy shoot – Olivia Munn topless on a couch with her arm blocking out you seeing her boobs, Olivia Munn laying down pulling her panties down but not too far as to show anything and with her hair covering up her nipples, Olivia Munn laying down in her panties with her arms now covering her tits, more laying down and more arms covering breasts, Munn in a bikini, another bathing suit, yet another bathing suit, a bikini top, the same picture as the first one but with biting her finger, now she has sunglasses… fuck, man… I can’t do this anymore. At least most of these pictures have to be found on the web, as there are only two pages in the actual magazine devoted to this, because you know what they aren’t devoted to at all…? My penis. There are better pictures of Olivia Munn in my head, and, yes, it is sexy what she is doing with that Pepsi can. Oh, come on… what’s so wrong with that? 
It’s not like I had her defile a can of Coca-Cola or something… you know, something classless.
The cast of the remake of “Footloose” is coming together. Yay… lucky us. After Chace Crawford took the lead that was abandoned by Zac Efron that Kevin Bacon originated, it only made sense for his leading lady to be the next to fall in line. Enter Julianne Hough of “Dancing With The Stars” fame. The offer has been put out to her, sliding her into Lori Singer’s role as the preacher’s daughter who likes to sin. No one knows if she can act, which is definitely not important when putting together a motion picture, but based on my hatred for remakes and my love for the original, The Kidd’s gut tells him that there is no six degrees of Kevin Bacon that could possibly lead to this project turning out good. We can only hope that all the original stars stay far away from this one, because we wouldn’t want anyone to mistake that as an endorsement. Yes, this means you, too, Kenny Loggins.
USA Today managed to score the first good look at Tim Burton’s upcoming take on the “Alice in Wonderland” story due out in March 2010. The new rendition will have Alice revisiting Wonderland ten years from her last visit, unable to 
remember anything that happened there before. The movie will have aspects of live action, CG animation, and motion-capture creatures to go along with the fact that it will be shown in 3D, so you can be sure to count me in on this one. In addition, I know the ladies get all kinds of excited when it comes to Johnny Depp. However, if you are getting moist with delight over the glimpse of his creepy Mad Hatter, you’ve got some serious issues you need to deal with. Helena Bonham Carter will play the Red Queen, while Anne Hathaway and her ginormous mouth will fill the shoes of the White Queen. With the way Burton tackled Willy Wonka and his Chocolate Factory, I wouldn’t expect the most kid-friendly of places in Wonderland this time around. In fact, this time around, Alice’s journey might just scare the shit out of you… yes, to the point that poop actually flies out of your ass throughout the course of the movie.
Also, the latest poster for the next “Halloween” sequel is out, as the movie gets ready to suck up theatres at the end of the summer in August. If anything, this movie will remind you that Zombie’s take on Michael Myers is nothing like the original, and that a new direction is not always better as horror movies these days more or less blow. Instead of this garbage, can’t we just get entire Rob Zombie movie of his wife dancing around naked? That’d be 
actually something I’d pay good money for…. in IMAX… 3D. She’s hot, so it sounds like a win-win for all of us. Rob Zombie makes a flick we all want to see, and we all see a movie that Rob Zombie made. How can we lose…? Unless his wife turns out to be a man, in which case I might just have to cry myself to sleep tonight, because my wang will never forgive me.
The Kidd is running full steam ahead this week, starting my guest appearance, blogging over at Celebrity Smack! starting today and carrying through Friday. Make sure to head over and check out the new material getting dropped on a new audience. The blog here will keep going. I know today’s entry seems a little shorter than usual, but that has a lot to do with today being a slow day coming out of the holiday weekend as well as being a bit hectic over here trying to get into the flow of things. Running two blogs here and trying to gear up for a screening of “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” tonight is keeping The Kidd quite busy. So, at least you can expect a new entry into “The Kidd Vs.” archives, as I get ready to go one-on-one with Megan Fox… I mean, with some gigantic robots who are fighting over Megan Fox. No…? What are these movies about again? You’ve got the Go-Bots and Voltron on one side, and then…? Ah, screw it. I’ll just try to remember it as I go.
Until tomorrow…
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