The Kidd Vs. Charlie St. Cloud
CAUTION: SPOILERS AHEAD
If I felt like being nice, The Kidd would just dismiss CHARLIE ST. CLOUD as fluff that plays to the overly sensitive and weepy crowd, who finds Zac Efron dreamy and would gladly enter into some type of romantic interlude with the actor, regardless of how preposterous. But other than that crowd, who is really going to like CHARLIE ST. CLOUD…? Because it certainly isn’t me. The plot can be succinctly summarized as Zac Efron hangs out with dead people until he can be the hero who saves the day… but even then, that’s giving it too much credit, because, while Efron isn’t that bad in this flick, he isn’t given anything to work with, in a story that ultimately doesn’t make any sense. That’s right… CHARLIE ST. CLOUD tried to be too cute for its own good, introducing a plot twist about 2/3 of the way in that then negates all of the rules it spent so much time setting up for itself, rendering the final product as a complete mess.
The title character, played by Efron, has a younger brother named Sam – Charlie Tahan in a role that forces me to believe that even dead people can get annoying. After an unfortunate car accident that claims Sam’s life but gives Charlie a 2nd chance, thanks to a paramedic who refuses to give up (Ray Liotta in a paycheck performance built entirely on coincidence), Charlie gives up all of his hopes and dreams – sailing, a scholarship to Stanford, etc. – in order to stay local and fulfill his promise to his brother before he died to have baseball practice for an hour each day at sundown… for the next 5 years and beyond. Yep, Charlie St. Cloud is not giving up the prime of his life, because he is overwhelmed with the burdens of self-blame or guilt. He’s giving it up, because, if he stopped showing up, he’d hurt his brother’s feelings, making him feel as if he’s being forgotten. Let me remind you that we’re talking about his dead brother here, who he can see and interact with, who is apparently trapped somewhere in-between so he can have an hourly catch with his big brother. But don’t worry… it gets dumber.
There are all types of messages overtly placed through CHARLIE ST. CLOUD about how you can’t put life on hold, because it doesn’t wait for you, and that there’s always more to life than what you’re currently making of it, and other tidbits of wisdom, which is fine and good. They’re positive messages for people to learn, and there’s nothing wrong with that being what people take away from any movie. However, it’s all wasted when CHARLIE ST. CLOUD decides to basically blow off its own set-up for the sake of having a twist, a gotcha moment. Those deep contemplations about life are replaced with “WTF?! Are you serious?!” as you try to figure out why the story of CHARLIE ST. CLOUD felt the need to absolutely ruin itself. I mean, it’s not like things were going well to begin with, but this only served to make it worse.
It’s firmly established that Charlie has the ability to see and talk to dead people. He’s able to communicate with his brother, and he’s also able to have a conversation with one of his buddies from high school, who lost in life in service to the United States as a member of the armed forces. Charlie, now a caretaker at the cemetary, is able to catch up with his old friend in front of his own grave site, and now we know what Charlie is capable of… that is, we thought we knew until he strikes up a bizarre romance with a girl from his high school class Tess (the very Jennifer Love Hewitt-like Amanda Crew), a fellow sailor, who now finds him interesting, because he’s dark and mysterious, but also looks like Zac Efron. Before she is going to set off for a boat race around the world, they strike up a fling, complete with cooked dinners, Lilith Fair music, and sex in a foggy graveyard. Things seem to be going well, until Charlie gets a cup of coffee one day, and learns that his potential lover’s boat has been lost at sea for the previous 3 days. So wait… Charlie St. Cloud just had sex with the spirit of Amanda Crew and not the real Amanda Crew? Hold on… it gets better. He believes the purpose of his 2nd chance at life is to be around to save her, and now he’s going to venture out into the ocean to find her? But I thought she was dead, and that’s why he could see her. After all, it’s been 3 days. No, that’s not the case…? She’s alive, and he’ll get there in just the nick of time after that time period to save her long enough for paramedics to do their work. Oh, man… this all sounds even more retarded when you write it all out, as opposed to just thinking it in your head. I can’t even imagine how crazy I’d sound saying it aloud. People might look at me as if I was drunk or on drugs… or both. And the topper is that when Charlie is searching for Tess, he breaks his promise to his brother, and, as a result, his brother doesn’t get his feelings hurt. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. His brother is then able to move onto the next step of the afterlife, being consumed by a bright light and turning into a shooting star that points Charlie in the direction of the lost boat.
Okay… that’s it. I’ve had enough. This is making my head hurt.
Efron isn’t bad here, but CHARLIE ST. CLOUD sucks thoroughly around him that there’s nothing you can really gauge from his performance as to whether or not he has a career beyond making HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL flicks. His character is a bit inconsistent, as, even after his brother’s death, he still manages to be nice 1 minute and a dick the next to the spirit. You’d think that feeling guilty and all that Charlie might be a little nicer to the ghost of his dead brother, but, if you’re thinking that, you’re also giving far too much credit to director Burr Steers and writer Craig Pearce to formulate a movie that makes any bit of sense. Knowing that CHARLIE ST. CLOUD was based on a novel, it makes me wonder who exactly read this book to give Universal the bright idea that this was one that needed to be adapted for the screen. I already knew people would see any kind of shit at the movies. I didn’t know they read it, too.
I wish I could tell you that this was a chick flick worth spending your time on, but it’s not. There are 2 types of people who are going to see CHARLIE ST. CLOUD – teenage girls who think Zac Efron and his wind-swept hair (which is M.I.A. here) are hot, and… okay, I lied. There is only 1 type of person who is going to go out and see CHARLIE ST. CLOUD… and you know what? They’ll probably love it, thinking it’s so great and romantic. Believe me… I’ve already seen them in action, wiping tears from their face, walking out of the screening in which I attended. However, if you’re a reasonably intelligent person, who values their time far more than just throwing it away on any movie that has romantic undertones, you’ll do yourself a solid and stay away from CHARLIE ST. CLOUD. I thought I felt dumber having come out of the theatre, watching it all the way through, but that was only the beginning. I feel way more idiotic having recapped the lunacy that makes up this film’s plot… and I only wish I was lying. That truly is what happens. Now… can you really in good conscience say you are ready to subject yourself to that? Kim Basinger couldn’t… and that’s why she’s in the movie for all of about 45 seconds. So take it from Kim Basinger. Run… don’t walk… away from CHARLIE ST. CLOUD.
